In the sims 3, the reaper won't come and there is no urn?

i killed my sim by drowning her in a pool (added walls and removed ladder) and it shows up to her husband and kids on their family tree that she is dead, but they haven't got a little moodlet, the grim reaper didn't come and there is no urn, and her icon is still on the side along with the rest of the family. i can't just go back to when the game was saved because a lot has happened since then! i regretted it once she was drowning so i was hoping that i could take the urn to the science place and restore her ghost. can anybody help me?